April 1, 2012 at 3:46 am #162380
It’s really late right now but I can’t sleep and could use any advice anyone can give me!
My boyfriend and I went out to do some errands this afternoon and came home to find that his dog had passed away… So awful in itself, but she had suffocated with her head in a bag that I had forgotten to throw away from the night before, so I feel so responsible and he’s obviously devastated (as am I)
She was almost 14 years old, so she had a good long life, but I just don’t know if he will ever be able to forgive me for leaving the bag out… She obviously wanted to lick out the rest of the salt that was in there but got stuck and was so frightened and that’s what is killing both of us, the fact that she was afraid and suffered… If she had just gone in her sleep, it may have been less awful, but I don’t know how to make things okay (especially since he gets on my case a lot for being messy)… I feel like the worst person ever and I wish so badly I could change things, but now I’m afraid he’s going to hate me for this forever… Any words of wisdom??April 1, 2012 at 7:50 pm #162508
Oh no. *hugs*
I think that’s all you can do: talk to him, be honest about what you’re feeling.April 1, 2012 at 10:54 pm #162545
I literally cried after reading this… I had to give up three of my dogs, including our brand new puppy, because my step grandparents took our house. I still haven’t forgiven my parents for giving them up, and it’s almost a year later. It’s so hard to forget with animals… But with you and your boyfreind, tell him you feel guilty. Tell him you feel like it’s your fault, and everything you think.
Further into the future, when you’re both ready, go to a shelter. After my kitten drowned in the bath, (My dad’s fault,) my granddad took us to a animal shelter to look for his runaway dog. There was a scraggly looking yellow lab, estimated about five years old, with half a tail and a scar on his eye brow. Sweetest dog I had ever met; hyper but not enough so he wouldn’t lay down and let you pet him. (I was seven; I was almost abusive to him, and he was still sweet.) He was going to be put down in the next hour. After the doctor came in to take him, my grandad stopped him. We adopted him; without knowing if we could even keep him. We both kind of forced him onto my dad. To this day, I keep this dog. He’s older now, about eleven years old, but I still love him to peices.
My point being; Yes, a life was lost. It’s hard to get past. But, saving one feels even better. It will take a while to be ready to accept another pet though. And on your fears your boyfreind will hate you; don’t worry. This will be hard, but it will be a chance to grow for both of you. Don’t fear what hasn’t happened yet. Nothing’s set in stone. On forgiveness, it will take a while. But if there is love between you two, don’t fret; haven’t you ever heard that you ‘just can’t stay mad at them?’ They may have a grudge, but it will fade. It will be forgotten, eventually. I suggested a new pet because it will be a bonding experience and a way to show how much you want to make up for it.
Best wishes, /(o.o)/ <- Hug
Princess RorieApril 2, 2012 at 5:32 am #162613
Oh no I am crying too
You poor poor things, my heart really goes out to you. My beloved Tessa died just before Xmas – almost 10 and I am still not over it. She died of natural causes but I cant even begin to imagine what you are feeling.
Dogs will be dogs, and I bet she was happy licking the bag though eh… She would have had all the nice smells doing what dogs love to do – getting up to mischief when we are not home.
Its happened and you cant change anything unfortunately. It doesn’t do any good to beat yourself up further…
Just concentrate on the happy times. You gave her a good life
What helped me and hubby through our loss was two pillar candles with her photo in the centre and we lit them each night when we got home from work for her memory until they had run their course, it made it a little easier to say goodbye. Lots of crying but it helped us
All my love for you both
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