would any one get back with an ex that u just broke up 4 months ago because u have a baby with him after he threw u out with my baby in thee middle of the nite but he said sorry and than tells me right after we broke up he went out that next day with his friends n meet a girl n has been talking with her since they meet he says they text occasionally but went out to a bar n play pool with friends 3 times but he claims they were only friends n i asked how they meet n he said he didnt want her number but he claims his friend gave his number to her but i asked than id u wanted nothing y u continue to tlk right. So he said he wasnt going to tell me about her but he said only because i asked him if he move on like he told me he do when he threw me out of his moms house dealing with no respect n occasional hitting n drama i been with him 3 yrs n this whole time he hasnt helped with our babys pampers n things bccz he claims hes mad not an excuses. im so so hurt after all o delt with him threw thick n thin money problems n many other things he still trested me like crap i dont know wat to do i started to tlk with him again for our daughter n now he says hes sorry n wants me back n swears but hesitated to tell me he wasnt more than friends with that girl i tell my self if he was mad y couldnt u wait a month or 2 to jump to another girl i told him true love u wait n work hard for that lovw on not try someone else n if it dont work come back to me for ur last resort am i right or wrong? ive herd him out n makes me sad honestly, he moved on so quickly n said if i dont except hime he has options kinda of answer but he really wants us to work fro our daughter. i dont know wat to do im so hurt 
. top things off i had to live with my parents n im blessed i have a place for one but my parents make it so hard to think nagging how my ex is this n that n hate him for wat hes done n not helping me out with our daughter n they say if im a fool to fall for him they disown me as there daughter it makes me so so sad here all this im an adult but my parents say i need to move on or i have to learn having no one next he does it again they say so idk i dont know wat to do. I love him still n miss him at the same time idk if its love now or used to him n his company i dont know, im so angry at him for wat hes done n more now knowing he moved on so so fast really any one know wat i should do or think i should do any one gone threw something similar i need advice. Thank you all for reading this!!!
It’s not love.
Your ex is an arsehole. He doesn’t deserve you, and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve a child.
You might be willing to put up with his abuse and neglect, but what do you think it teaches a child when they see their mother being treated that way? How do you think that shapes your childes view of the world and a woman’s worth to grow up in that kind of environment? What kind of person do you think your baby will become if you stay with him? You might not be able to say no to him for you, but can you honestly tell me that you are not willing to stand up to him for your baby? You’ve already seen the disregard he shows your child, how far past disregard and into anger has that strayed. Somewhere inside you, you must know what I say is true.
You have a chance, right now, to start over.
Go now, right this second, and tell someone the whole truth. Tell them everything, every painful and embarrassing detail, and ask for help. Take their help.
Like Aro said, it’s not love. He is being an a***hole and a child. You are a strong woman, you just don’t realize it yet. If it weren’t for your child, you would not put up with this. Don’t use your child as an excuse to stay with this fool! My mom left my dad due to financial abuse and gambling when I was 3 1/2 and my brother was 9 mos. She never looked back and he never came looking for us. She did everything on her own, raised us both by herself (with my grandmother to help watch us after school). We turned out fine. One thing I was told by my mother and a good friend who went through what you are going through right now…”You may need a man for companionship, but make sure that you can take care of yourself so you are not ever dependent on a man for finances or anything else.” You can do this by yourself with the support of friends and family. You don’t have to settle for less. Yes he is the father of your child, however, his own ways will shine brightly and your child, as he/she grows older wil realize exactly how their father really is. No need for you or anyone else to bad mouth the father in front of his child. Children are smart and they can figure out what’s going on. I would not put up with my ex’s crap and left him. Yeah the kids were pissed off at me for a long time. Yeah they will get over it too. Recently my son told me that my leaving his dad was the best thing that could have ever happened. He has now realized how his father really is. Hang in there. You have more friends who will listen than you think! All you need to do is ask.
Thank u both for ur advise im so lost i really dont know wat to do i feel scared to lose him to someone else i always thought people can change am i wrong to think this way i feel no one will find me interested for being a single mom n having a baby n no man i feel like they think i was the problem like my ex still blames me for us braking up, n he really makes me feel that way hes the type if i dont do it his way or do wat he says sometimes he flips mad n ignores me or leaves n if i go some were or take long he wants to know my every move n wat i did, n if i act like he does to show him how it feels all he says i got busy n wat u dont trust me an abswer n doesnt tell me nothing acts mad i dont understand i will be honest he is my first serious long relationship n new to this will i be able to move on with out feeling guilty im doing wrong on my baby i feel like i messed up for leaving all ive delt with n feel im scared to lose him at the same time i tell my self i dont need him n than im just worried no man will take me serious being a mom n single i dont know if im right just so worried my ex makes me feel like i will find someone else but ill make them run off to for not doing wat they say im so confused n top it off when he has his time to visiting my daughter, he so lazy he just leave her with his mom n go out party i know he would n before i left his mom house his mother told me out of no were i hope my son never wants nothing part his daughter he needs a fresh start someone better no attachments to u thats so sad she even said i never want part of ur daughter im like shes ur grand daughter so sad i dont trust that lady after all she said scared she do harm if she say that wat u think she do any one think that can happen or am i over reacting if she think so cold hearted showing her son never to be part of her child come on im freaking out all round eveything i want the best for my daughter my first baby n look wat happen think my ex man up take us more serious after seeing his daughter born but no i dont know wat to do n can i make it to go back to school he made me stop tlking to my friends males n females n i did for him now i dont have friends just family so ever more sad im lost need advice i feel so dumn how i am now i used to be strong n new wat i wanted he changed me made me feel like things r to hard to del with now i need advice please. thank you
I know.
You need to get help, and actually take it. Right now you’re coming off the tail end of an abusive relationship, and while you might not want to hear this the reality is that right now you’re not capable of thinking clearly. Your mind is clouded by fear, though absolute terror might be a more accurate description. But you’re a survivor. You can do this.
I could tell you that there are men who will cherish you, men who will love your child more than they do you, men who will feel blessed that you would choose to allow them to be part of you and your babies life. I could tell you that you live in a modern world where single mothers don’t just finish school they go to University, own their own businesses, and are every bit as successful as their married counterparts. But none of this matters, because a life alone is better than a life under the thumb of an abusive arsehole.
So, I repeat, go now, right this second, and tell someone the whole truth. Tell them everything, every painful and embarrassing detail, and ask for help. Take their help.
sad but i have no one i can run n trust n get me threw all ive been threw u know my dad n mom would flip if they hear all i been threw they only know self wat they have seen n i wanted to tell them ive kept it to my because i dont want problems i was my daddys girl but my dad told me he hurt me idk how he new but because i continued dating him bcz he said he loved me n thats all that mattered i stuck around idk y n now my dad so mad at me our relationship of daddys girl is over he says it every so often rubs it in my face how wrong i choose in my ex n how i ashamed him as a daughter so coming from my family i here it all the time now how much i messed up i know i dealt with all i did i dont know y i fell in love n feel like i did a crime n i didnt around this time of yr n month makes me hurt wat i had when we started to date n love someone was amazing n went right down hill n now my baby will be mad or hurt for my decisions everyone tells me its not bout me no more its my baby that will be hurt i know but i have no one to run to n tlk that will understand y im here asking u all here everyone i know r straight n r mad from letting him throw me out n my baby how he did to me he had the gulls to tell me my ex said that i forced him to find another girl hows that hes using excuses right so do i just try to move on life act like this never happened n wat do i do to forget him
I already know you haven’t told them everything, read what I’ve already said. I know. You need to go tell your parents everything and ask for their help. If they’re going to be arseholes about this, then screw them, and go to someone else and ask them for help. And you keep going to people and asking for help until you find someone who will help you get your head screwed on straight and salvage your life from the gutter. Call a women’s shelter, call a counsellor, call the victims advice line for the local cops and ask them who in your community can help you rebuild your life after an abusive relationship. Stop making excuses not to get help and actually do something for yourself. You don’t need him, you can do this.
I could spend the rest of eternity trying to give you a pep talk about how shit is going to be fine, but you and I both know that’s a load of crap. Life is hard, and people are arseholes. But you are a mother now. You will do anything for that child, allow yourself to find strength in her to be the women you truly are. There is absolutely nothing you can not do for that baby, no distance you wont crawl through broken glass if not simply for one of her golden smiles. Just look at her and you know what I say is true.
Your daughter will not hate you, I know, because mine doesn’t.
THANK U ARO FOR READING N UR ADVICE TO ALL MY MESSAGES THANK U FOR TIME!!!
esmheras7: I know this is really difficult for you. Like Aro said, you need to tell your parents what you have been going through. You NEED to talk to someone, so please start with your family. A parent should love their child unconditionally! That means, good, bad or otherwise, you love your child no matter what. You do not have to agree with what they did or did not do, it was their life and decision, but you LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT! If they judge you after talking to them, then so be it. At least you tried to talk to them and they can never said that you shut them out. Please, please, seek help either with your family or through a support group or professional organization. You are not alone, there are others out there that have walked through your shoes before you and can give you guidance and support. Hugs to you.
Thank u for all ur advice im a strong person overal i been threw that beating n hurt me but honestly i dont think it has the effect on me like i have being afraid to be alone with out my ex i feel honestly like hes going to be the only one that will be ther for me for having our daughter but i know its not the best idea but thats all thats been confusing me if i will feel relief not being back with my ex n when i see him when he vists our daughter will n how will i do it will i be strong n not fall for his lies he loves me or will i feel demoralized hope less thinking will i make it alone with out my ex as a partner im onlying hurt deeply emotional n not being loved n understood how hard it is just to say its going to be easy say im moving on with out u to my ex n knowing how hard its going to be dealing with him taking her just to leave my baby with his mom instead of spending time with her so he can go out party n go with his sluts sorry ugly word but true, like he says been i dont want that influence around my baby i feel like should i deal with this crap he gives me so im sure hes not putting her around woman like hes around n showing her that life style im afraid of that i dont want to deal with his treatment but thats wat crosses my mind i dont want my daughter around that life style hes doing now im afraid of that n stress me so much to think that i know i one day can never consider him as someone i used to love n have feelings for him, i have to be strong n think for my baby i know it will be hard even kknowing i still kinda love him we just broke up 3 months ago n hard to know ill lose him to someone else i feel dum saying this after all i gone threw but i have feelings n i dont know wat to do to forget him he crosses my mind everyday n makes me sad how he is I dont think how im thinking my need special help maybe a friend for distraction a job maybe work out idk any ideas wat i can do to forget him for good
Firstly, I’m finding it extremely difficult to understand your posts.
If you have concerns about visitation and the environment he is providing for your daughter, then you need to speak to a lawyer.
You might not think you need “special help”, but it’s pretty evident you actually do, and your ability to deal with this situation and move past it will be far swifter if you do so.
I’m having a hard time reading the posts. 
Please type coherently!
what do u mean ur all having trouble reading my post y what is wwrong with them plz let me know
Take a look at everyone else’s writing, and then look at your own. You run everything together as one massive blob, no coherent sentence structure let alone paragraphs, and it’s absolutely riddled with txt speak. To be honest, I’ve actually been running your posts through an audio program because I’m dyslexic and I can’t read posts like yours, but given how bad the last one was I can barely understand what the audio program was saying anyway .. which is why my reply was so limited. I’m not trying to be the grammar/spelling police here, I’m honestly struggling to read your posts.
well lets say im running things out of my mind n thoughts all at once im not here trying to write a paper to be published. So give to think im asking for advice n i was not for once second trying to alter my writing ok we all have our times when were in situations were things like this dont matter so yes thank you for the correction i noticed but didnt bother changing didnt think it mattered on a site like this but ill make it were next time ill make sure to to read it before i publish out to u all so u will understand thank u for the advise aro
esmheras7 3 months, 2 weeks ago.
