Getting over Someone advice!!!

[esmheras7Geek]

Hi well if u read my previous Dilemma with my relationship, it was a tough n heart breaking situation still holding on to me. I am still in for one hes the father of our daughter and to top things off i confined in my parents to talk things out and now they want me to move out for being a complete liar holding back what happen between my ex and me. So now im freaking out i have no were to go and heart broken how i will be able to move on and not have my ex taunting me he now wants to work things out. How do i cope to move on when i need someone to help me out because as of now i have no job no were to go and having my ex asking to work things out. At the same time I want to move on find someone else but its not in my head as of now have bigger things to figure out like getting a home for my daughter and my self. Living with my parents has been a nightmare they dont let me out of the house because they think ill go with my ex n hate him they gave me a condition if i want to live there i have to do as they say ok understandable. What i dont get they want to control what i do they dont want me to communicate what so ever with my ex not even for vists for our daughter and nothing at all or im kicked out any ways i did as they asked, and im still been kicked out for talking what happen so ridiculous. I feel like a darn 15 yr old cant talk to guys and date, and do wat i need to do for my daughter and not even talk to my ex no way so ever, that is how ridiculous my parents have gone as far because they hate my ex and they said ill be dum to fall for him nn they do want that to happen ridiculous. So im dealing with so many things im now told to find my own place or help assistance from so were to get my own home or stuff luck im out any ways. You can imagine how i feel dealing with a break up being kicked out of his moms house because we so call my ex said we were going to get our place sson never happened. So now because i was honest how my ex hit me n treated me and didnt share that with my parents before im being kicked out for those reason unbelievable. So now praying to God i find a home and now also getting the idea in my head how do you deal with getting over your ex and moving on even if its not dating right off the bat, but being able to not run back to him while im hurting emotionally. I will admit he was my true first love and long relationships so yeah i feel like is there someone else is this the right thing to do or try see if my ex changes or that wrong were i think he wont from how he emails me with his conditions. He also says im being around with men why i dont except him back not even im so up set how i fell in love with him delt with all i did from him and he still acts this way and also adds while the 2 months we didnt talk he was talking with other girls and going out. He claims he will start dating one if i dont go back and more immature talk he does, I mean it kinda does make me said once i left he moved on so quick like i meant nothing or he wasn’t heart broken. Were i tell my self why does he want me back if he move on so quick and trying to make me jealous, is how i see maybe i should move on but he still runs in my head will it pass n i wont think of him no more or never. I need advice what i should do in my situations any one experience some thing similar.

THANKS FOR READING SORRY IF ITS SLOPPY KINDA LATE!!!

[Julie KapuschakGeek]

Hello dear!

Relationship problems + a kid + abuse + the feeling of no support can be a super icky situation to be in! First things first, though, NEVER go back into a relationship with someone who abused you – they will never change! No matter how much they beg plead and cry claiming they have, they haven’t. They just want you back under their control. Ignore the nasty comments he makes, and try and keep him as “just your childs father”. I know it’s hard, but it’s for the best.

It sounds like you have a good “case”, have you ever considered talking to social services, or anyone? They can provide you with wonderful help and advice, but due to the abuse, may be forced to step in. Which can only lead to one thing: protection, and a chance of freedom.

As for no job/no house/parents against you, I would recommend you have them sit down and ask that they listen to you carefully, and that in return, you will do the same. (Half of a conversation is listening to the other person/people, remember.)

Take your time in deciding how you want to say it, as you are the one who knows your parents, so you know what words will work. If you’re a teen and you have a daughter, they will automatically have a “she doesn’t know what she’s doing, she just keeps digging deeper and deeper” sort of outlook on you – it’s harsh, but true. Many people are so against teen parents/pregnancy’s it’s unbelievable that they’d rather make it worse than help.

Basically, tell your parents that you do plan on moving, but due to circumstances, you really need to stay with them a little longer. Offer to help out more around the house as a “thanks” for letting you and your daughter stay there, and use this time wisely. That is, have a game plan in mind. First you’re going to want to start looking for a job, since everything costs in this world. Once you’ve found a job, on paper, write out how much you plan to save off of each pay check, and how you plan on spending the other money (for you and your daughters needs, I am meaning.) If you pay them rent, include that in there. Follow this paper. Even if you have to save all of your money in a piggy bank so you can visualize how much you’re saving, do it. This paper will be your key. Once you’re at this stage, the next time your parents get angry with you, show them the paper, and either a bank statement or your piggy bank to prove that you haven’t just written it all down, but you really are following what it says, and saving up. Use your savings to move out, once you have enough.

Overall, you need to prove to your parents that you are capable, you just need a little help for the time being. Also, please don’t go back with that guy. You’re beautiful, and don’t deserve to be abused.

I hope I helped you.. you’ll get through it, I promise!!
JJ.

[esmheras7Geek]

Thanks JJ for your advise the thing is Im 23 yrs old and like my parents act so irrational i same immature, they told me when i came in they never wanted me to come back home but did it for my daughter. They have told me since i dated the guy ii did my ex they never approved of him for not being there expectations great pay good and not going to school and because he lives with his mom ok ya i get it but i say its should be for the mean while until he saves for his place but as i can see now hes not. He looks like he be there for as long as he can , since he doesn’t pay one bill but now he party’s n works for his pocket n car he loves more than anything.So i dated him and when i did i was ran out of my house I said how can you judge someone by the cover if you dont know the truth yet well yeah there right hes not what i expected yeah there there right and never gave me my place even after finding out i was pregnant and had my daughter so yeah he is bad news but still hard because of my daughter. I wouldn’t know how my daughter feel being with one parent here and there ive had both parents always so worry’s me and makes me sad. I have been been threw crap with my parents telling me i deserve to be on my own striving for making the wrong choices they dont want to help they tell me almost every day they want me to leave there house but feel sorry for my daughter she suffer if im on the streets i dont have relatives to ask for help breaks my heart and makes me cry. No matter how much i help around they house they treat me like im not family like they picked up a stranger and gave her a home for a bit. I dont know if you read that my parents dont let me even go to the store alone not even no were not even to a park to walk because they assume ill go back to my ex again. There wrong I know I wouldn’t they threaten me if i ever talk or email him i would be kicked out because they hate him and using all reasons to have me stuck in the house and im really fed up because i need a job to make money and save and spend for my daughter. They dont understand how immature they sound and wrong, its gotten to the point i had to disconnect my phone so they feel at ease and know i dont text or call him my ex they dont need to run my life treat me like im 15 or how ever yes im there daughter but a grown adult that needs help for the mean while, so I can get up on my own feet so i go on my own but they dont even want to talk and reason. They get up set raise there voices and say things that are uncalled for. I cant sit and talk i dont know how ill get a job not being able to go no were or have a phone, I need to know if any one would has gone threw something similar and what should i do i cant get threw and talk to my parents with out them exploding saying they want me out. I am grateful for having a roof over my head for my daughter but i cant do more to help my self out or have someone to take care of my daughter while and if i get a job some were. I am a i dont know what to do situation no matter how much i make a plan i cant go no were i have no car now i have no phone nothing the only person I know to call was my ex i stop talking to my freinds because of my dam ex so thats big problem, I need a miracle from God to get threw to know what to do and how to do it.

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